A Complete Guide To Surviving The Funeral Reception

This depends on the close friends and family of the deceased. Here are typical scenarios:

Pre paid funeral plans are already in place for the deceased. This method of payment is the most straightforward because it's pretty much already taken care of. If you know you are dying and wish to offer some relief for your loved ones, this may be the best option for you. A partial alternative is that some individuals may pre purchase plots of land at a cemetery.

The deceased's estate may cover the expenses. If applicable, the bank in charge of the dead's financial accounts will usually issue money for funeral costs. If it's not enough, the deceased's family can reach out to local agencies for help. 

The family will take care of the cost.  This is very common. If a parent dies, their adult children or spouse are likely to take on the expenses. Or the family may decide to split it amongst the relatives.

Legally, the next of kin is responsible.  Most states hold the next of kin obligated to pay funeral expenses. It's also the usual etiquette for most memorials. 

Food is a large part of the funeral reception, so having a plan is a must. There are many ways to go about it, but as long as you consider at least one option for common dietary restrictions such as vegetarian, vegan, and gluten free, you're good to go. And remember that if there is any time for comfort food, it's for this type of occasion.

As for the method of serving food, here are some options:

• Select a few appetizers as finger foods. 
• Choose to go with a buffet style service.
• Hold a potluck instead of catering. 
• Have a catered sit down meal.

If you don't wish to hold the repast at your home, there are alternatives: 

Ask a family member or close friend to host it at their house. They may have a bigger and more open space or be conveniently located for guests. 

Hold the reception at church. Churches will have banquet halls for funeral receptions and other events. Especially if a memorial service is taking place there, it could be incredibly convenient for those who struggle to travel to a separate location.  

Funeral homes will also have space.  Likewise, if a service is held at a funeral home, it may make the most sense to have the post funeral reception there for convenience. 

Look at rooms for reservation at community centers, libraries, or colleges.  There should be various public event spaces in your area. These tend to be significantly cheaper than fancy banquet halls or hotels. Remember to look at gardens, parks, and other outdoor spots. 

This depends on the invitations. If the memorial is publicly announced, it's appropriate to bring a plus one. Similarly, if a vigil for the dead is announced, it is safe to assume anyone may attend.

But if there is no mention of a funeral reception, the family likely has a small, private reception planned. That would mean that unless you received a formal handwritten invitation stating you may bring someone or were formally invited by a close family member who gives you the okay, you should not try to attend the funeral reception with a guest. 

What you bring depends on your role. If the family asks you to handle bringing chairs, food, or other practical things for setting up, be sure to follow through. Otherwise, getting a sympathy gift is appropriate unless the family asks explicitly for donations instead. 

Flowers and plants.  If you want to give a traditional memorial gift, flowers are the way to go. Except when attending a traditional Jewish funeral or otherwise requested by the family, you can't go wrong with flowers. You can alternatively bring succulents, which are simpler to manage and last longer. For advice on flowers to bring, ask your local florist. They will likely have a preset bouquet meant for memorial gifts. Orchids, lilies, chrysanthemums, roses, and carnations are used the most for these. 

Sympathy cards. A brief message on a sympathy card is another standard gift to give at a post funeral gathering. Attach it to your flowers, or just provide the card. Another idea is to discretely put a check, cash, or gift card inside the envelope. 

Charitable donations. Humanitarianism is an honorable form of commemorating someone's life. The family may request gifts to a singular charity. If not, consider which group the deceased would prefer to contribute to. If they passed away from cancer, perhaps donating to a cancer research organization is the best way to go. Alternatively, you may ask the family or close friends what they think would be best. Here you will find a list of choices.

Photo engraved pendant or keychain of the deceased. Pictures bring back memories and serve to preserve the dead's living memory. Think about giving a meaningful gift of Personalized Photo Engraved Jewelry.

Fingerprint jewelry. This is another way to keep someone's legacy close to them. It's a beautiful gift idea for someone who is in mourning. 

A memorial album or framed photo of deceased. A photo album may bring comfort to those in mourning. Give a framed print of the person who died as your sympathy gift. Or consider assembling a photo album full of loving memories. 

It's important to familiarize yourself with the basic customs of the deceased's religious and cultural inclinations. This way, you will better understand what to expect, how to behave, and what to bring. Here are great places to start for Christian funerals, Muslim funerals, Jewish funerals, Hindu funerals, Japanese funerals, Buddhist funerals, and Mexican funerals. 

Children are usually welcomed at funerals, but not always. It's important to ask if you can bring them before booking travel and making plans. You may end up without a babysitter if you find out too late.

Children are sometimes not allowed at funeral receptions because they can be loud and rambunctious. The last thing you need is a toddler getting antsy and running around the reception. They could very likely knock over the urn on display or a framed photo of the deceased. 

When it comes to cash gifts or donations for funerals, the standard rule is to give approximately the same amount as sympathy flowers would cost. That said, this is only a guideline. If you cannot pay the customary amount of $50-$100, that's okay. Every dollar counts. 

Separate from a formal service, a repast is an event for family members and friends to honor the deceased without a formalized structure. The gathering after a funeral usually has food and drinks and serves as a venue to offer one's condolences to the family. 

If you are in a hurry but don't want to appear disrespectful, stay long enough to pay your respects to the family. Attending for about half an hour is short enough to get you where you need to be and long enough to ensure you have time to offer condolences.

If you desire to stay longer, it is appropriate to. Just be sure you're not overstaying your welcome. If there is no stop time for the reception, leave after two or three hours max.

Yes, it's usually appropriate to attend the funeral but not the reception. However, it may differ depending on how close you were to the person who died.

For instance, if there is a wake and a funeral, consider attending the wake but not the funeral if you didn't know the deceased very well. As long as you find an opportunity to pay your respects to the family, that's what matters most. 

It is best to wear conservative and neutral toned clothes. Unless otherwise specified, it's best to stick with this look for a funeral. Some circumstances may be different, and guests could be encouraged to wear bright colors and floral patterns to celebrate the deceased's life. This is more common when attending funerals for young adults. But if you don't know the preferred protocol, it is better not to go against the norm.

When you get the chance to talk to close friends and family of the deceased, remember not to be shy about saying their name. Frequently people think that saying the deceased's name will bring more pain. But the truth is that stating their name is a therapeutic way to cope. However, if someone says they don't want to, respect their wishes.

Another approach to offer support is to be deliberate with your communication. Avoid asking how someone is doing in general and instead ask how someone is feeling that day. It is clear they are hurt, but asking about a particular feeling or time is a more sensitive approach. 

Finally, reach out to the family after the funeral reception. Grief will stay with someone perpetually. Even if someone seems okay, don't make assumptions. Give them a phone call or send a sympathy card on the six month or year anniversary. For more information on this topic, read 10 Ways To Support A Family Member Or Friend After They've Suffered A Loss.