Fourth and Three
Posted by H. Schumaker on Sep 28, 2018

Fourth and Three


I swear it feels like I was just posting about the beginning of September a mere few days ago. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’m busy or if it’s just the nature of the weather or maybe I’m ‘on with my years’ but the days are flying by like newspaper rolling down the street on a windy day. That being said, I’m fairly caught up, all my little troll babies have settled into a routine and life is trucking along like a country song. Yee haw, pardner!

What I do find is that I am reassessing where I’m at for 2018. Because we are down to the last quarter of the year (hence the Fourth and Three football-esque title - fourth quarter of the year, remaining three months…I AM smart, Troll #2!), I find myself looking back at some of the goals I set for myself and where I’m at and if there is any salvaging left to get to where I wanted to be. Additionally, given that it is my birthday in a short 7-8 weeks (Thanksgiving this year, y’all!), I’m also reassessing where I’m at in my 40’s and what I’ve pecked away at with 50 on the distant horizon. And, there it is again - Fourth and Three. I’ll be 47 with three years left before I hit that major milestone.

I’m all about accountability and what better way than to hold myself accountable to my readers. And maybe one of you will take a look at your goals, where you started and where you planned to be and this will help you readjust your focus and dial in to make the most of the remaining three months of 2018!

2018 Rules - Shoie Style

I had some pretty good ideas about the rules that I wanted to live my life by for 2018 and I will say that looking at them as a ‘rule’ more so than a goal helped me to stay more on track - I’m a rules oriented kinda gal. And I kept the number pretty short and sweet, topping out at 7 rules, which made it a little less foreboding.

Rule 1 - See ya later part-timers!

I am pretty much knocking this one out of the park and I don’t know if it has more to do with me personally or more to do with that’s how life rolls out when you’re in your 40’s. I simply don’t have time for people in my life that are part-time. I just don’t. And when I tell you my circle is even smaller than it was a year ago…but I’m totally okay with it. The people that are there bring value, laughter, love and positivity to my days. It’s not all Titos and tacos every day but I’m super secure in my tribe.

Rule 2 - Attitude of gratitude

This is and continues to be a work in progress and I really want to knock it out of the park in the upcoming months. I attribute having an attitude of gratitude with having a beautiful flower garden. You have to put in the work, nurture the garden, grow the garden, pull the weeds, trim the dead blooms, feed and water and care for it. Much as we do with gratitude. We have to practice, feed, weed, nurture and put in to place being grateful. Not to say we won’t have days where we raise up our fist and shout out some swears and slam some doors. Life happens. But I am doing a good job at living from a place of being grateful.

Rule 3 - Health is our most important asset

Okay - for the record. Cardiology appointment October 1. Dentist October 4. Physical and blood work October 31. No colonoscopy as of yet but I got three more years so cut me some slack.

Rule 4 - Still I rise

I still struggle with finding indifference. I would like to blame it on being an emotional ‘being’ but I know a couple people that are as emotional as I am and they rise above with indifference in the most beautiful manner. My heart continues to heal, I try to push away my snarky thoughts and shrug and move forward, focused on my life and my happiness. I will say I have not made as much progress as I wanted since January but I have moved mountains on this since July. Probs will carry this rule forward into 2019 for me.

Rule 5 - Here for you

I am a believer in living a life of service, giving back to others and making a difference, an impact. I think it’s because I have been blessed to have so many people in my life that have impacted me, inspired me to chart my course in a different direction. I know that I have made a difference in the lives of some this year - had some lollipop moments. Some may have been fleeting, some may have a more lasting impact but make a difference I have. I wonder how many more people I can have a positive impact on in three months time???

Rule 6 - More face time, less screen time

Eh - not so much. I would say I’m better but in a very small increment. It gets a little bit more difficult during this time of year as I have no troll-ops at home and I depend on that screen and those little text bubbles as our primary means of communication. A half-hearted attempt has been made but I know without question that I can do a million times better. See, already two rules for 2019!

Rule 7 - Let it go, let it go

I’m about 60/40 on this one - 60% I’ve probably let go and 40% I’m still squeezing the life out of. Or maybe it’s even the other way around (eye roll emoji). Bottom line is that I am not a duck and things do not slide off my back like water on a duck’s back. And I need to be more like a mallard. I am hopeful that with my continued growth from a place of gratitude and as the year rolls to a close, that the ratio above is more 80/20.

Seeing is Believing

I also decided to take a peep at my vision board. Can’t miss it as it is duck taped to the exterior of the pantry door. No Pier One but hey - I have to look at it daily in order to get to my protein english muffins. My word for the year was believe and I would say I’m doing not too shabby.

I am on track for my goals at the gym for the most part. I don’t think increasing my clean is going to happen but I did increase my deadlift by 25 pounds so I’m going to count that as even steven. I am scared of the 100 cals in under 10 minutes on the assault bike and am going to put that one off as long as possible.

 I didn’t save as much as what I wanted this summer but the kids were able to do what they needed to do and when they needed to do it. The car, the recliner - that’s all going to have to wait but we did get another used car for the troll babies and they were able to have some freedom this summer that they normally would not have been able to have. Happy to report that the snouts are taking me for a drag around the block on a regular basis and outside of the dragging part of it, I have enjoyed every bit as much as they have.

I do feel the joy in my life and I have absolutely been making time for me. I am striving to continue to rise above and given that I didn’t throat punch the annoying parent at the game this past Saturday after he made me cry, I would say I’m doing a pretty good job.

Coming for You, 47

And let’s not forget my birthday! Big old 4-7 playing peek-a-boo and I know y’all think I am lying to you but yes, 47 I will be. And I had a list of “50 Things Before I’m 50” and to this day, it’s been one of my most favorite things I’ve ever written. I think it’s relevant to see how many of those I have accomplished this year. And how many I have yet to accomplish. And maybe if there are things I have to readjust. Let’s see where I stand…

Checked off my list

I have gotten a full body scan and happy to say all those spots are due to me being old and that’s it. Was painless, cost me a copay and eased some fears.

I went to Countryfest 2018 this past August with two of my besties and had a blast. I did find out that it is one of those things for me that is one and done but was a great experience and a first for us three ladies.

Oh wow…I’m laughing. That’s it. Those are the only things I’ve done. I honestly thought I would be able to talk about several but in that there is two. 1. 2.

Check off by November 22, 2018

I can assure you I will not be getting my Dodge Challenger by my birthday and I don’t consider the 2005 Ford 500 with 180,000 miles we bought a ‘new car that is just mine’. But a girl can dream.

Before my birthday I would like to get a dumpster and clean and organize the garage and basement. Said dumpster would have been done this past week however a certain someone in my life wants to have some say about what we keep and what we don’t. Certain someone is a main contributor as to the WHY behind the dumpster so…but happy dad, no one sad.

I will make a point to sit and write a letter to someone I love. And I know the person I want to write it to.


I need to sit down and redo our will. That’s easy enough, affordable and completely doable. Ours is so outdated and antiquated and we are getting a little up there. We will have two adult children by the time 2018 ends and that changes things quite a bit. So on my radar.

Check off in 2019

I do have some that will be taken care of 2018. A girls weekend to Montana and maybe we can sing karaoke with my brother and his wife while in Montana and oh, wouldn’t it be fun if we TP’d someone’s house! (Casey, make that happen!) And I would love to do a spa day with my mom while I’m home. Life has been hard for her the past several years and I think we forget that the caregiver needs to be taken care of too.

I’m hoping 2019 brings about the opportunity for me to get away with Rob and watch some sunsets and see the sunrise from a mountain top. I would love to get our family back to Montana this summer and will hopefully get to take my nephews and my niece to Misquamicut when they come out for boy troll’s graduation party.

I need to worry less and forgive more and be more present. I don’t think those ever fully get ‘checked’ from our lists as they need to be a part of my life’s mantra. I will continue to strive to become more aware of living my life in that direction.

Fourth and Goal

It was so good to take a look back at where I started the year and where I wanted to be. And open up my eyes to where I am right now. I certainly have some work to do to knock the rest of 2018 out of the park but I can say that I think I laid a solid foundation for doing so and that it is not out of the realm of possibility to end the year on a high and successful personal note.

With regards to 50 before I’m 50, oh Lordy do I have some work to do! I am beyond grateful that I have the tangible list to look at because I honestly thought I had accomplished more of it than what I actually have. But it did help me to readjust my focus and think about the upcoming months and what I want, where I’m headed and what I need to readjust in my own life to accomplish those things on my list.

Here’s what I leave you with. There is a lot to be gained by setting goals for yourself, rules to live by, having a vision of how you want your life to play out. If you write it down, create a vision board, it gives you something to see, to read, something tangible to make it real. It also makes you accountable because it’s right there staring back at you. There is no shame in having to readjust your focus and redefine your goals. NONE. That’s called life, peepers.

I’m giving you three months time to think about it. Jot down some thoughts on what you want out of the next three months and start thinking about what you want out of 2019. I don’t care what age you are - respect the process, give it life and make great things happen! I’m preaching it, I’m doing my best to hold myself accountable to it and so can you! Here’s to the remaining months of 2018 - make each day count!