Coping With Grief & Loss In A Virtual World

Ever since the Covid-19 pandemic hit, the world as we knew it has evolved. While not everything has changed, some things are barely recognizable anymore. Large get-togethers such as weddings, births, and funerals have been forced to adapt. The way we experience loss, death, and grief has altogether shifted.

Having those connections with family and friends during a time of grief is a crucial part of moving forward through the grieving process and with life in general. But how do you do so when you are living remotely from from friends and family? When many of our connections are virtual?

Let's take a look at not just what it means to live in a remote world but also how it impacts the way in which we grieve. We will offer ideas on how you can memorialize your loved one from home as well as solutions on how you can virtually help those that are grieving.

So, what does living in a remote world mean for us all? How has this affected those dealing with grief and loss? Living in today’s world means adjusting our expectations, and perhaps enacting a little more self-love. When we aren’t able to hug or be close to anyone, we have to adapt in ways that provide that same comfort for ourselves.

It can be extremely difficult not being able to do the normal things you would after suffering a loss. When someone is grieving from home, they may have a harder time if they depend on human connection to process their grief. It may elongate the amount of time they need to move on.

Whether your loved one died from Covid-19 or not, the social distancing rules, lockdown and quarantine orders, and limits on gathering sizes have likely made the whole experience even more overwhelming and difficult.

You may feel a lot of anger or frustration at not being able to be physically close to those you love for support, hugs etc. You might feel cheated, or even guilty about not being able to have a proper funeral, burial, visitation for your loved one. After all, these are moments we can never get back.

It’s important to acknowledge and understand that the above emotions would be expected under normal circumstances. Therefore, they’re completely understandable in the type of climate we’ve existed under this past year.

If you’re stuck at home while grieving, there are things you can still do! For example, you could start planning a memorial service to be held at a later date, once the pandemic has eased up a little. Since vaccines are now being administered in many places around the world, there is hope that the end is finally near.

Just the knowledge that you are going to have this service in the future may help with the healing process. Planning it will be a good distraction, too. It can potentially take your mind off your negative emotions and give you some sense of relief. Overall, it should give you more positive things to look forward to.

You can do specific things that are a part of planning a memorial service and do them safely and conveniently from your home. Some of these tasks include:

Another good idea would be to reach out to others online such as family and friends who knew your loved one. These interactions can often be very healing because it might allow you to virtually connect with people who live very far away.

This could potentially be a positive of virtual grieving, since you might not have been able to have the interaction at a regular funeral service. It might not be the traditional physical connection you get with being in-person, but at least you are still able to visually see them and hear their voice.

These days, there are many ways you can make a memorial page for others to visit and grieve with you virtually. These existed much before the pandemic took place, and they’re a wonderful way to memorialize your loved one. Even if those you’re grieving with are far away and can’t physically be with you, a memorial page will be sure to keep you all connected.

During lockdown and quarantine times, it’s essential you get out for fresh air every now and then. If you’re living in an area that only allows you specified times to exercise outside per day, make sure you don’t miss out on that daily opportunity. Fresh air—and nature, if possible—is so important, especially when you’re grieving in virtual spaces.

These things are vital for our mental health. Plus, staying active can increase your serotonin, which is essentially a “happy chemical”. This chemical in our brains is what makes us feel good, and going for walks outside has actually been proven to increase it.

As you can see, there are many benefits of going outside to take a walk, so make sure to get out when you get the chance. Even if you just make a few rounds in your neighborhood, it’ll do you good to get some of that fresh air.

If you feel that it’s just too soon to go back to work, ask your employer if you can work remotely for a while.

Thankfully, there are many resources in the virtual world that can help with those who are grieving. Take a look at a few of those options below.

The following types of support groups might be the most applicable for dealing with the feelings of grieving amidst the pandemic:

Grief support groups - For those experiencing grief, whether from a death, or from loss of normal life routines, there are support groups you can join. Being involved in a support group help you make strides in your mental health.

Depression support groups - There are also support groups out there that are specific to those suffering from depression. Some may be more specific to certain causes or gender-directed, so be sure to find one that feels like the best fit for your situation.

Therefore, first consider some of the following qualities various support groups may . For instance the support group may be peer-led vs being led by a qualified counsellor or therapist. Also consider that the members could be consistent attendees or it may differ at each meeting.

It's also important to note the culture and ambiance of the group and their discussions. The focus could be large and cover general loss, or specifically on one type of loss, i.e., loss of a parent, loss of a child, etc. The overall goal of the group being general grief experience vs action-oriented.

Once you have a good understanding of what to expect, you can start your search. To find a support group that’s right for you, you can first talk to your mental healthcare professional. They likely have a list of recommendations they can provide you. You can also search online yourself to find the best one for you.

There is also a list by Very Well Mind for the “7 Best Online Grief Support Groups of 2021” that has chosen a group based on which type of focus the group best serves. If you’re looking for a way to narrow down your search, this may be something of interest to check out.

You can consider setting up a few Zoom meetings, aka telemedicine visits, with leaders and professionals who can give you support and guidance. These can range from not only medical professionals but also spiritual leaders in your community such as a priest or pastor. The visits range from over the phone consults as well as virtual telehealth visits via zoom or another online meeting host.

You can also call your doctor or your church to discuss any concerns regarding your physical, mental or emotional health. Phone in calls are ideal to speak to professionals such as counselors who can help you make sense of what you’re going through over the phone and for those that perhaps aren't comfortable with a video style visit.

We know that so much of life can happen online nowadays, but what all exactly can you do with a computer or phone? There are several options available right at your fingertips!

If giving makes you feel better, what better way to heal than to help others? Online volunteer with a group or company that you or your deceased loved one was interested in. You can search for such companies at this article, “9 Places To Volunteer Online (And Make a Real Impact)” at DoSomething.org.

You might know someone who is experiencing grief, but uncertain as to ways you can support them through this tough time while maintaining compliance to social distancing rules. Check out a few of the most helpful things you can do for someone in this situation, listed below.

The times we live in are unprecedented and we realize that grieving remotely is outside the norm. Here are some of the more frequently asked questions about grieving in a remote world.

With how much the world has changed this past year or so, it’s incredibly important that we evolve along with it. In order to survive, we have to do what we can to maintain our self-care routines to ensure we stay mentally healthy—especially through times of much grief and loss.

The social distancing rules can be painfully difficult, but we are lucky at least in the many ways we’re able to maintain connections with those we love the most. Support and connections are the only way to get through such tragic times. We must also keep hope that health and vitality are on the horizon for us all.

Further reading:

10 Ways To Support A Family Member Or Fiend After They've Suffered A Loss

Dealing With Grief After The Loss Of A Child

Grief Retreats, Conferences & More

March 2, 2021 by Jeri K. Augustus