Grief Therapist for Grief & Loss - Your Definitive Guide with Proven Tips & Strategies

ACT comes from the approach that negative feelings don't just come from experiences but also our inability to accept and process those experiences. By avoiding uncomfortable experiences and thoughts, we are unable to move beyond them, keeping us trapped in the same distress. By accepting our experiences and often confronting them, we can move forward and focus on healthier patterns of behavior.

Before you take any further steps, it’s important to think about what you want to achieve with therapy. It can help you to make out a list of goals. These should be a mix of small things – like establishing good sleep hygiene – to larger ones that take time to achieve. This can help you and your therapist stay on the same page about what you want from the process and help them tailor their techniques to better help you in the long run.

Some things to consider when making your list:

• What are your Gshort-term goals?
• What are your long-term goals?
• Do you want a male or female therapist? Do you have a preference?
• Do you want a therapist within a certain age? Or some other demographics? (This can be important if you are part of a minority group)
• What is your timeline for therapy? Does it match reasonable expectations for your situation?
• What kind of therapy are you interested in?
• Do you want to be part of a support group?
• Do you only want one-on-one sessions?
• Are you interested in medications?

You may find that your goals change when you begin working with your therapist. That’s perfectly normal as well! It simply helps to have goals going into the therapy process so you and your therapist can work together.

When you start looking for a therapist, you need to know what you are looking for. Do you need a psychologist, a counselor, or a psychiatrist? All three serve the same function. They are all professionals who work to treat mental health issues for their patients. They differ, however, in both their level of education and types of treatment. Both psychologists and psychiatrists require a higher level of education than most counselors.

Psychologists typically have PhDs or EdY in psychology while counselors or therapists have a master’s degree in social work or psychology. Psychologists study human behavior and mental processes. Therapists are trained to use techniques to treat behavior and problems. A psychologist may be a therapist but not all therapists are psychologists.

Unlike the other two, psychiatrists are medical doctors specializing in mental health. Psychiatrists often take a medical approach to mental health, meaning they are trained to look at physical and mental symptoms. They can prescribe medications to patients as well. Your grief counselor will likely be a psychologist or therapist, not a psychiatrist.

You’re going to have questions when you’re starting out. That’s normal. If you’ve never gone to a therapist before, don't worry if you don't know exactly what you want or what to expect. Remember these questions before you go into a session with the therapist.

Once you've found a therapist that looks promising (or several that look compatible), you may be able to schedule a short consultation with them before you decide to go with any full sessions with them. It's an opportunity to find important information that you'll want to know before beginning in earnest. If they don't offer a consultation, you can also ask these questions over the phone or through email.

Here are some questions to help you get started.

• Are you a licensed psychologist?
• How many years have you been in practice?
• How much experience do you have working with people dealing with grief?
• What do you consider to be your area of expertise?
• What kinds of treatments have you found effective in healing grief?
• What types of insurance do you accept?
• What are your rates for therapy sessions?
• Do you accept payment plans?
• How soon can I expect to start feeling better?
• What do we do if my treatment plan isn’t working long-term?

If you don’t think the answers to these questions match up to your needs, then you should look for someone who does. You want your expectations to match what the therapist can offer – as long as your expectations are reasonable. As a note, your financial needs are just as important as your mental health ones. It never hurts to ask what kind of rates they can offer you if your insurance does not cover their services.

Sometimes, you choose a therapist that does not work out. That does happen occasionally due to no fault on either of your part. If that happens, then you should consider finding another therapist.

You don’t need a “legitimate” reason to switch to another therapist. There don't need to be red flags As long as you are not dropping your therapist as an excuse not to speak with a counselor, you don’t need to have a specific reason for not continuing your sessions with them. It does not necessarily mean they are a bad therapist, just that they are not a good fit for you.

There could be any number of reasons why. You may just not feel comfortable with them, even after several sessions. It may be difficult to open up to them or you could feel awkward with them instead. Your schedules might not work out. They may not have any available sessions when you can meet. There may be an issue with your insurance that makes your rates too high. It may be as simple as them not using a technique or approach that you think would be most effective for you.

Don’t be afraid to find another grief counselor if the first one does not work out. It’s not uncommon for people to shop around to find the right fit for you.

If you’ve never been to therapy before, you may not know what’s typical and what is not. It's good to know what red flags or warning signs to look for. These signs may indicate that your therapist is not a good fit for you, is not well-trained, or cannot handle your recovery.

1. Your therapist does not listen to your concerns.
2. They do not pay attention to you during therapy. They may be on their phone during a session, struggle to stay awake, or not answer your questions.
3. Your grief counselor talks about themselves excessively. They may offer too much personal information or relate all situations back to themselves.
4. They try to form a relationship with you outside of therapy.
5. The therapist acts unprofessionally. Examples include dressing inappropriately, keeping a messy workspace/office, acting too informally, or even having poor hygiene.
6. Your counselor breaches confidentiality frequently.
7. The therapist does not have experience working with grief and loss.
8. They try unproven, experimental, or disproven therapy practices.
9. Your therapist is critical or judgmental of you and your problems.
10. They dismiss your culture or identity. They may be disrespectful to you and your background. Any of these alone could be a red flag large enough for you to find a new counselor ASAP.

As important as it is to look for red flags, it’s also valuable to know what good qualities you should be looking for as well. Good grief counselors come in many different styles and practices. They do often have some things in common.

Your therapist should be compassionate, sympathetic, and professional. You should feel comfortable in their presence. Trust is an important piece of the relationship between you and your counselor. You should feel comfortable talking to them without fear of judgment or disinterest. You want to spend a session with someone who is engaged in you and your needs while you are together. They should have excellent communication skills, both verbal and nonverbal.

Finding the right fit also comes down to finding someone who works with your needs. You may find that you work best with a certain approach compared to others. You also want a counselor who works with you and your schedule. A grief counselor should be willing to be flexible with scheduling within reason. If they can only schedule you during inconvenient times, they won’t be the right fit for you. You also want to work with someone who is reliable and makes it to appointments on time. A good grief counselor prioritizes their client’s time as being important as their own.

The right grief counselor is someone confident, careful, and someone that makes you feel better. You want to see a therapist who inspires confidence and hope in you as well.

Some of these you won’t get a good feel for until you’ve had a session or two with the counselor. You may need to take your time and get to know the counselor – just as they are getting to know you. It’s normal to take a few sessions to feel comfortable with a therapist as long as they are helping you at this time.

Online resources are a great way to screen legitimate therapists in your area. Several mental health organizations maintain up-to-date, searchable databases of licensed therapists and support groups. Here are some reputable sources that may help you.

• Psychology Today
• Grief.Com
• AgingCare.Com Forums
• Good Therapy
• Grieving.Com Forums

You shouldn’t underestimate the power of your local community. If you look, you may find helpful resources in your area.

No one enjoys talking to their insurance company. It can be a frustrating experience even when you are knowledgeable about a topic. That said, your insurance company can be a good source of information about therapists and grief counseling practices in your area. Many often have a list of in-network practitioners readily available online. They’ll be able to tell you who accepts your insurance, so you’ll have a starting list to begin your search. They may also be able to tell you where your insurance is most effective.

Sometimes, it’s easier not to face other people. You may feel more comfortable at home and in your own space. If you are worried about leaving the house or find in-person therapy intimidating, it might be better for you to find an online support group. There are many great telehealth therapists out there.