Dealing With Grief After The Loss Of A Child

Be understanding of the person’s emotions and behaviors.

Bring them food, groceries, and essentials. Offer to help them clean or to help with the children or pets.

Check in frequently to let them know you care. Invite them for a walk or to your home to get them out of the house.

Listen to what they have to say and do not pretend to understand where they are coming from. Focus on making them feel loved and supported.

Only offer advice when asked. Do not comment on the marriage nor offer criticism for how either parent is coping.

Encourage them to pull together and support them individually if they need time apart.

Remind them they are great together and focus on the amazing parents they are/were.

Help them with necessities, other children, pets, housework so that they may focus on grieving.

Though this might seem overly simplified, the fact of the matter is that talking things out really does work wonders for lightening a heavy heart. Simply talking about what you are going through will not be enough to heal you completely, but it helps to let the emotions flow rather than bottling them up.

When we bottle our emotions, it is all too easy to become suffocated by them. What you have experienced is an unimaginably difficult and horrible occurrence that very few people have to deal with. Your grief will be a heavy burden to carry, and chances are that you will experience many different confusing emotions in response to it.

Tragedy changes who we are and impacts our brains, which is why it is so important not to let the negative emotions fester. Instead, take the time to share them with someone that you trust. It might be a spouse, relative, loved one, or even a therapist. The important thing is that you will take the time to vent your emotions rather than letting them build and build and build.

Your emotions are valid and completely justified, so find a confident that will just let you pour out what you are thinking and feeling completely free of judgement. Nothing has to make sense, so don’t worry about what someone will think. You simply need someone who will help you to let it all out.

If you are grieving, find this person. If you are supporting someone, be this person for them.

Losing a child is something that only the people who experience it will ever truly understand, which can make them feel incredibly isolated. It is difficult to explain to other people what you are going through, and it can feel upsetting when they can’t seem to relate or truly comprehend what you are experiencing. This is what makes grief groups such a helpful support system when you are in need.

Grief groups are composed of people who have experienced similar events and are also struggling to work through it. These groups can give you an open platform to speak where you truly feel understood, and it can often just help to be around other people who get it.

Losing a child in any way is so difficult, but being around other people who can truly connect and empathize with your sorrow makes it much easier to cope with. There is strength in numbers, and many people find that it helps to connect with other people who have lost their children because those people never expect you to truly be okay.

The real benefit to grief groups is that they come in all shapes and sizes, which means that you can always find a group filled with people who will understand you. These groups can include certain kinds of people or certain people who have been touched by the same tragedy.

Every type of child loss comes with its own collection of battles, so it can be helpful to find a group that really matches your needs. There are groups for those who have struggled with miscarriages, stillborn children, loss of young children, and loss of older children. Losing a child is not simply losing a child.

Depending on how you lost your child, you might want to have a group of people who are closer to the situation. The versatility of these groups makes it possible for you to really connect to the people around you as you all go through the same struggles and phases.

When a parent loses their child, they suddenly find themselves contending with a thousand different unanswered questions and concerns. For most of people, it is common to simply cling to the best traits that the child had, but that can actually be more damaging for you.

More often than not, when you lose a child, you will find yourself thinking about every disagreement that you ever had, or questioning the way you treated them before you lost them. While your child was no doubt special and perfect in their own way, it is important to remember that you are a human being and so were they.

It is okay if you were cross with them before the tragedy occurred. It is okay if you felt overwhelmed or sometimes scolded them for not making their bed. These are completely normal behaviors, so make sure that you don’t paint your child in such a positive light that you make yourself the villain in the story. At the end of the day, you loved your child very much, and what is beautiful about that is the fact that you loved them as well as all of their imperfection.

It is all too easy to romanticize who our loved one was, but that doesn’t do them any justice. Remember the way that your child always left their sports equipment on the floor, or how they sometimes had a bad attitude. Of course they did. They were young, and sometimes they were a total pain. Over time, you might just find that you have a good laugh about some of the stories where they were total nightmares. Every kid has one, and your child is no different.

You praised them when they were good, you scolded them when they were bad, and you loved them through it all. You did the best that you could, and that is exactly what they needed.

Something that is often unique to grieving a lost child is the feeling like you couldn’t protect them. Many parents operate with the protector mindset. We know that our role is to take care of our child at all costs, and we all take it seriously. However, there are some things in life that you simply can’t control.

At the end of the day, you have to take the time to let yourself off the hook. The fact is that you could not have changed the outcome. Life happens, and while that can feel impossible to accept, blaming yourself is never going to do you or your child any favors.

Instead of using their passing as an excuse to bully yourself, choose the be kind to yourself instead. The outcome was beyond your control. You did everything that you could, just like any parent would.

People who experience grief often fail to find the right words to describe it, but many people often refer to it as a hole. It is as if you are walking through life and a giant hole opens up in the ground and just swallows you right up, dropping you into the darkness.

While this description might not be true for everyone because we all feel differently, it does an effective job of demonstrating how wholly grief can pull a person from their life. One minute, you are living your life. The next minute, living a normal life feels impossible. You might find yourself wondering how you can possibly go on, and the reality is that you simply must. It isn’t nice or pretty, but somehow, you must find a way to keep on moving forward.

When you lose a child, it is normal to feel lost or confused, as if your life doesn’t make sense. Losing someone so instrumental to your life is a jarring feeling, and you might find yourself wondering what to do now that everything feels so entirely wrong and disrupted. To overcome this, you must remember to live for yourself. When we have kids, they become our lives.

Your child is a huge part of your life, but you have to reallocate all of that love, time, and patience. Give it to yourself, other family members, and anyone else that you can. Just remember that the people around you love you and want to see you live a happy life, even if you are struggling with it right now.

Grief is a heavy emotion and it seldom travels alone. You might be finding yourself completely overwhelmed by what you are feeling and entirely unable to process it. Some of your feelings, like sorrow, might make sense. Others, like blips of happiness when you remember something great about them, might seem even more difficult to process. You might feel angry, sad, worried, or even physical pain. Everyone experiences these things differently and only you will ever truly know what collection of feelings you are going through.

Since these feelings can come in waves and might feel entirely overwhelming at times, it can be good to channel your emotions somewhere else so that you aren’t just stuck with them. We have already discussed talking with people, but there are some other effective coping mechanisms that you can use to help your mind and body as you process your emotions.

For years, people have used arts, crafts, and exercise to help them work through emotions. Creating art is a great way to process your emotions, and it gives you the opportunity to use your hands and mind rather than just sitting still. Many people try painting, writing, and even more crafty things like woodworking. You might find your comfort in a completely random art form like pottery making, or you might start making wooden coasters out in the shed.

Find something that allows you to focus, create, and open your mind. If creating isn’t really something that you enjoy, activities like running, yoga, and cycling are also great for getting active and working through emotions. Many people find that these activities give them more control over their mind and bodies with really helpful results.

Every single one of us is different. We all think differently, feel differently, and process events differently. No one can tell you how to truly heal yourself because the reality is that only you can find the correct path to do so. Some people find their path through support and growth from family and friends. Other people find their path after spending a long time in the dark before stepping out into the light again.

People try photography, painting, running, dancing, and so many other things. What is important is to remember that no one can ever truly tell you what is right or wrong. If you need to cry for four months straight, then cry. If you find that painting flowers gets you through the day, do that. Listen to your body, your mind, and your heart and let them guide you through.

The media that we consume paints a pretty clear image of grief. We have all seen movie characters cry, be sullen, then move past it in a magical moment. Reality isn’t nearly as straightforward. Some people cry and others don’t shed a single tear. People go into shock. People become enraged. People don’t get out of bed, or they work too much, or they find themselves unable to sleep.

No one can tell you what you are going through because only you are going to experience it, but it is important to remember that you must keep moving forward one day at a time. Do what feels right, do what needs doing, and let everything else become background noise while you find your way through this impossibly difficult time. You deserve your patience, love, and understanding.

Many people find it easier to cope with their loss when they do something to memorialize their child, particularly something that they can carry around with them. One of the more common ways that this is being done is through tattoos, but some people want something they can keep without involving needles.

Cremation jewelry and fingerprint jewelry are common memorial products that are used to serve as a reminder for a lost loved one. Photo engraved jewelry is another option and gives members of the family and friends a visual way to remember a moment that was caught on camera.

A pendant necklace for ashes is another alternative for families looking to commemorate their child. Ash jewelry can be shared with members of the family as a way to help keep the memory alive.

By physically commemorating your child, you have something that you can always hold close to remind you of them. While it will never truly fix the pain of what you have lost, sometimes it is nice to be able to hold something close on some of the more difficult days.