Losing A Loved One To Addiction

A person can die from their drug addiction through overdose or by health conditions created by their addiction. An addicted person can suffer an overdose when he or she takes too much of a drug or combines it with other drugs.

Some addicted individuals die from health conditions caused by their addiction.

Drug addicts can die from overdose when they take too much of a drug or combine it with other drugs. Some addicts die from accidental overdose after a period of recovery because their old dosing is too strong for their newly sober bodies.

While many overdoses are accidental, an addicted person may also have an intentional overdose of drugs.

Many health problems can be caused by addiction. In addition to causing liver and kidney damage, drug use can cause a host of other medical problems. Drug addicts can develop cancer, congestive heart failure, lung disease, and other major illnesses.

In some cases, a person can die from drug-related illness even after they’ve given up drugs. The lasting impacts of drug use can cause continued health problems for a person. Even if your loved one doesn’t die from a drug overdose, drug use can still be responsible for their death.

No matter how well you handled your loved one’s addiction, you’ll feel guilt and regret surrounding their death. You may wonder if you made the right decisions or did everything you could to help them.

Although you may logically know that their death isn’t your fault, guilt and regret will bubble to the surface in the aftermath of an addiction-related death. It’s important to remember that your loved one made their own decisions and you did what you could with the resources you had available.

Many grief support groups offer support to people facing loss. However, the loss you feel after losing a loved one to addiction is very different than the loss you feel when a loved one dies from illness or natural causes.

When a person dies from illness or natural causes, you can mourn their death for the tragedy it is. Grief support groups help people process feelings of loss, sadness, and loneliness. If your loved one died from addiction and you feel angry or guilty, you may not feel as supported by those mourning loved ones who died from natural causes.

If a loved one dies from a drug overdose, you may be blindsided by information about their death. This can be especially challenging if your loved one completed addiction treatment. If you thought they were off of drugs, a drug overdose can cause more shock than death after a prolonged illness.

You may continue to receive calls for your loved one after their death. Drug dealers, bill collectors, and police officers may have questions about your loved one or their financial situation.

Although you’re grieving their death, you may find yourself angry about the mess they left behind. Even if you’re coping with the loss, unexpected calls may show you an unsavory side of your loved one’s life.

The stigma around addiction often makes it difficult to talk about your loved one’s death. While some people may avoid any mention of their loved one’s addiction, others may overlook the person’s good qualities in the face of their addiction.

Even though some people may make assumptions about your loved one based on the way they died, it’s important to remember who they were. Their life and complicated relationship with addiction cannot be shortened into a sentence or two about their death.

Will you burry your loved one in a casket or have them cremated? If you have a casket, will there be a viewing? Make sure you keep your loved one’s wishes in mind when making decisions about what to do with their remains. If you plan to have your loved one cremated, you will need to purchase an urn to hold your loved one’s remains after cremation.

If your loved one didn’t share their wishes, consult your local funeral director, pastor, or other clergy member. They may be able to offer guidance as you make this decision.

Decide what to include in the eulogy. Eulogies are an opportunity to share memories and pay tribute to the deceased. If you plan on sharing about their struggle with addiction, carefully consider how much information to share. For more information about writing a eulogy, check out our guide here.

Denial is a normal grief response. You may have trouble grasping the fact they’ve passed away. If your loved one was in recovery, you may be in denial about how bad their addiction was or how far they’d progressed.

Denial helps you process your grief. It is a survival response that helps you cope with the shock of a loss until you’re safe to process your grief. If other family members are experiencing denial, it’s important to give them time and space to deal with the shock caused by the loss.

You may feel anger for a variety of reasons. You may be angry at your loved one for not being strong enough to break their addiction. Some people are angry at their loved one’s friends or family who didn’t intervene. It’s also natural to feel angry at those who enabled your loved one’s addiction.

In many cases, a grieving person may be angry at themselves for not doing more. Although you may have questions about what you could have or should have done, it’s important to remember that you did what you could to help your loved one. All of these different types of anger are normal to feel in the aftermath of an addiction-related death.

It’s common for people to feel guilt when a loved one passes away due to addiction. You may feel guilty for not intervening or seeing the signs of addiction. Some people feel guilty for things they said or did that may have worsened their loved one’s addiction.

Some people feel guilty for feeling relieved that their loved one has passed. If you’ve been dealing with your loved one’s addiction for a long time, it’s natural to feel some amount of relief when it’s over.

There’s so much stigma around addiction and addiction-related deaths. You may feel shame about your loved one’s addiction. Some people struggle to acknowledge that their loved one had an addiction. Others feel shame for breaking contact with their loved one because of their addiction.

If the deceased person is your child, you may have additional shame about your parenting decisions that led your child to addiction. Learning about addiction and how it develops may help alleviate shame.

When a loved one dies from addiction, you may fear losing others to addiction. This fear can be intensified when other loved ones suffer from the same addiction. 

Some individuals have fear about their loved one’s fate after death. It’s important to talk to a trusted clergy member or spiritual advisor if you’re experiencing fear about your loved one. You may find comfort in your faith during this time.

If you know someone else who has lost a loved one to addiction, find out if they’d be willing to talk to you and process your grief together. Even if no one you know has suffered this type of loss, close friends and family can offer vital support during the mourning process.

Don’t put limits on how long and how much you grieve. Allow yourself the time and space you need to process all of the complicated emotions around your grief.

If your workplace offers bereavement leave, consider using some of that time in the days following your loved one’s death.

GRASP (Grief Recovery After a Substance Passing) is a support group for people who have lost a loved one due to addiction. You can find information about meeting times and locations on their website here. They also offer great resources for people grieving the loss of a loved one to addiction.

Some people process grief best by learning all they can about the subject of their grief. There are a number of books about grief and addiction available online or at your local library.

You may find yourself particularly touched by memoirs written by loved ones of individuals who have died from drug addiction. One by One by Nicholas Bush offers perspective from a recovered drug addict who lost loved ones to opioid addiction. David Sheff’s award-winning book Beautiful Boy explores a father’s relationship with his drug-addicted son.

Best of all, your therapist will keep your conversations completely confidential. This is helpful when processing the darker emotions associated with the loss. Your therapist can help you process anger, shame, guilt, and depression surrounding your loss.

Local religious leaders can help you process your grief in the context of your faith tradition. It’s important to remember that clergy have varying degrees of education and experience when it comes to counseling. You can see both a therapist and a clergy member to help you process your grief.

If you aren’t connected to a faith community, you can find a nearby church and reach out to the pastor. Most clergy are willing to help people in their community, even if that person isn’t affiliated with their local congregation.

Remembering your loved one does not always need to revolve around their untimely death caused by addiction. Remember the good times you had with your loved one, especially times before addiction took control of their life.

It may help to talk about those memories with others who loved the deceased. Taking time to voice those memories is a way you can honor your loved one’s memory, no matter what their cause of death.

There are some emotions surrounding your loved one’s death you may feel uncomfortable sharing with anyone else. Writing your feelings in a personal journal can help you process your loved ones death.

If you don’t want anyone to read what you’ve written, keep the journal in a secure location. You may even choose to discard or destroy the journal after a certain amount of time. What matters is taking the time to write your feelings onto paper. This can help you process difficult emotions you aren’t ready to share with anyone else.

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Grief can be all-consuming. Many people tend to put self-care on the back burner when they’re dealing with extreme grief. Even if you’re busy taking care of funeral arrangements for your loved one, you should take time to invest in self-care.

Make sure you’re getting plenty of exercise and rest. Eating healthy can also provide you with the energy you need while you mourn. If you’re a more introverted person, make sure you have plenty of time to be alone to process your emotions. This alone time can help you heal and meet the social demands surrounding your loved one’s death.

Once you’ve started healing from your loss, consider volunteering at a drug abuse prevention center or community center that deals with addiction. You should only take this step when you’re ready, as it can be difficult for many people grieving the loss of an addicted loved one.