What Is SIDS?

Babies used to sleeping on their backs but are then put down to sleep on their stomachs may be at increased risk for SIDS. Infants who sleep on their stomachs are at higher risk than those who sleep on their backs. The threat from sleeping on the stomach is reduced if a baby sleeps in a bare crib without any soft objects or loose bedding.

SIDS risk increases significantly during the second and third months of life. The peak occurs at 2 to 3 months of age when most babies start sleeping through the night.

Infants exposed to tobacco smoke are more likely to die of SIDS, and this is because nicotine can reduce the amount of oxygen in the body. Smoking during pregnancy has been linked with an increased risk for SIDS. If you are pregnant, you shouldn't smoke.

But in addition to not smoking, it is essential not to have anyone smoke in the same room as your baby.

SIDS is more common in males. The rate of SIDS is highest during the winter months, most likely because infants are in cold rooms and may cause them to work harder to breathe needlessly. Also, SIDS rates among black babies are twice as high as those among white babies.  

Make sure you take care of yourself and your other children during this difficult time. Take good care of yourself. It can be tough to cope with a baby's death, but paying attention to your health and well-being is essential.

Make plans for breaks from any demanding responsibilities at home or work, and be ready to make changes in your schedule to take care of yourself. It can also be helpful to talk with a counselor, join a support group for parents, or seek out other sources of support that may help you cope with your loss.

For very young children, it may be challenging to understand what happened. But they may sense that something is wrong. Try holding them close and playing with their favorite toys. You can also read books about babies or heaven (if you believe in these concepts). 

For older children and teens, you may want to encourage them to talk about their feelings and help them think through some of the questions they may have. It is also an excellent idea to let them know that it's okay to feel angry, sad, or confused, even if those emotions seem complicated for adults to cope with.

It's essential to be understanding and patient with the child. Answer questions simply, honestly, and directly. Explain what happened in simple terms appropriate for their age, but don't try to minimize the significance of the baby's death or make promises about their future health.

Pay attention to how they are feeling and coping. If they seem especially low or anxious, or their questions don't change over time, they may need more help. See a doctor and ask for a referral to a therapist who has experience working with bereaved children and teens.

Give your child the chance to participate in special events. Schedule a visit to the cemetery, bring photos that you enjoy seeing, or find other ways for your kids to honor their brother or sister who has died.

Since young children are more concrete in their thinking, it may be beneficial to spend time with other babies and children to help them remember their siblings.

Give them a caring and loving environment to work through their feelings. Let your children express their anger, sadness, or guilt as long as the emotions are 'age-appropriate.

For example, if a young child says, 'I wish you had never given birth to me, it's essential to understand that the child is looking for help in understanding why their brother or sister is no longer around. Allow the child to express how they feel and talk about their feelings and grief, but don't force them to discuss it.

As your children grow older, they may want more privacy or distance as they work through their sadness and begin to form their memories of their baby brother or sister. As children get older, they may find it harder to talk about the baby who died, even when they still think about them often.

Parents need to know that siblings cope differently, and there isn't one right way to handle SIDS loss. Some children may seem to be doing well, even though they are working through their feelings in private. Others may want to talk about the loss with friends or adults who are not closely related to them.

It is essential for parents to know that grieving can take time, and there isn't any set timeline for having all your child's questions answered. Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is a devastating tragedy that leaves parents with many questions and little time to heal.

Although parents may feel like they don't want to put their children through the pain of talking about SIDS, it is suitable for your child to understand what happened and see how you are coping.

If your child is very young, you may find that a memory box or scrapbook with pictures and items that belonged to the baby will help them feel connected to their brother or sister. Older children may want something more specific – perhaps a card from their sibling's first day of pre-school, a toy car from his collection, or a drawing.

Allow your children to participate in the memorial service or funeral if they feel up to it, although you may choose not to take them if they are too young or would be upset by the event. This will help them see that other people care about their siblings and can be helpful in their grieving process.

A great way to help your children feel connected to a sibling they have lost is to have a photo engraved pendant or keepsake made of the child with their sibling. The charm or keepsake will help them feel connected to their brother or sister and carry a memory of them with them wherever they go.

You can use photos or even footprints or handprints. You can find several different options for keepsakes and pendants that will be appropriate for your children like this one.

If there is a gravesite for the deceased child, let the sibling take flowers or decorate the spot when they want to visit. Siblings can grieve in different ways, so if your son or daughter wants to make sure that their brother's or sister's resting place is decorated with toys and other items, then let them have this particular time with their sibling.

It is also helpful to remember SIDS loss anniversaries, such as the child's birthday or death date or your due date if you are expecting another child. You can commemorate this day by having a family dinner and doing something enjoyable like going out to eat at your child's favorite restaurant.

You may also want to have a fingerprint pendant like this one made for the other siblings so that they each have their remembrance of their brother or sister.

Siblings of children who have passed away often feel guilty at being alive, which may help them know that they are loved and still meant to be born. Let your other children create the pendant with your help.